What the Bloody! | Behind the Scenes

Notes and random thoughts

There are periods in building a business when I get a sense of what the bloody?! I like to think of it as the painful growth phase. It’s the point of realising, that I’ve lost a clear aim and I need to have a long hard think about what I want next out of life itself. Like setting an intention or something like that.

Every writer has a point where the ideas stop flowing and start screeching to a halt — looking around at a desert of creativity.

Our site is still growing nicely and I have some lovely Substackers now to be grateful for. But maybe it’s the natural creative cycle that when winter starts blowing that icy gust from up north — not only do I not leave the house — but I no longer have that summer energy to charge forward with.

Instead opting for rest, recuperation, deliberation — preparing for the next phase of things. Maybe I’ll read some books to get that creativity back, paint, watch a bunch of Anime… I’ve been watching a bunch and it’s kinda nostalgic as I used to love anime as a kid.

We spent months on the move travelling and now we’re at a sweet stand still with our cute bonnets, and you know what it feels quite good to be aimless. We’re doing client work each day and earning our way in the freelance writing world. I’m doing cute things like redesigning logos and refreshing my website's aesthetic and it’s just quite chill.

There’s no rush, no haste, just simply writing and enjoying life outside of that.

Everything, all at once, always!

I’m a bit tired of the grind-set to be honest, have been for the last few years, going from “I need to do everything, as of yesterday!” and instead opting for a more relaxed “ahh it’s o’rite to not have it completely figured out just yet” approach. I have rough ideas for the website and the Substack but nothing set in stone yet – I’m just excited these days really.

I’m enjoying the little moments; I baked a cracking chocolate cake the other day that my mum and other half devoured with me in two short days.

Been enjoying fitness again since I hurt my knee a little (strengthen your knees folks). Been mostly creative and thriving in sweet solitude, or working away with my partner to make things.

I think I used to struggle with being a perfectionist which is why I didn’t get much of anything done then. Whereas these days I want to be more myself, who is someone who hasn’t got her sh*t together yet — but so damn close.

Details can be refined later, first you need the outline. The rough shape of what you’re creating – then you can come in and sculpt it. Whether that’s a clay, the human body, or a business — first you need to pack on the idea, then you refine it. That’s my perfect excuse for baking and eating cakes too.

Random thoughts I’ve been having

Winter hibernation has begun and I’m honestly just loving playing games with Tom, drinking hot drinks in our winter hats (it’s cold in London) and watching the leaves go from emerald green to burnt yellow and orange. 

I’ve been editing videos of us playing silly games like Supermarket Together, that have made me snort alone in my room.

To the point where I’m seriously deliberating whether the world needs to see another let’s play video of two randoms, wondering if I’ll make a gaming channel or just add the videos here, or store them on my ever filling disk space.

I’ve been thinking about how interested I am in this Substack community and whether there’s anything I can do to really get to know people on here more than the typical “hello there” through forced grin that pinches the cheeks – but rather more personal, getting to understand others on this platform, as everyone looks lovely and I could use some pen pals. Say hey in the comments if you’d like some more Substack pals :3

I’m also keen to see where my weird mix of creative stuff leads me — I know I should probably buckle down on one niche and stop spreading my ideas so thin — but I can’t help it.

I’m really not a niche person. My interests are random and intense, and I love learning new things each day. Maybe that’s my niche?

Lastly, I’m grateful for the position I am in now. I came from a single parent family in a one bedroom flat… you can do the math on that. Spoiler, it equals cramped. And while I’m back there for now, it’s a privilege to be where I am today having done what I’ve done. I’m proud of my slow steps towards a better life, as each of them mean a lot to me. 

And I’m grateful to you who follow along too, especially if you read all this text above, man, you’re freaking awesome.

What the bloody hell are you doing reading all of this, you should be frolicking and enjoying this fleeting thing we call life (I should too). That said, I thank you so much for being here, with me at this moment, and I want you to know that this random internet woman thinks the world of you from the bottom of my heart — you’re the bloody reason… well you get the idea.