Song on repeat 🔁

The silent resolution of change is repeating songs in sync

I’m listening to Paramore’s new album as I write this — incredible artist I’ve loved since I was a teenager.

Silently singing in quiet revolution to songs like Sanity (Re: Jack Antonoff), which is fantastic to listen to with headphones, I recommend you listen to it as you read this.

Change is Uneasy

I feel a sense of unease walking through London these days that is worse than when the streets were void with pandemic crickets. Each day walking around I begin to spot a new poster with Jesus’ judgmental face, bearing down on me, asking me if I’ve fucking found him yet?

I wonder to myself, whether I’m at the start of a time that will be set down in the history books of tomorrow. Whether we’ll be going through the same rigmarole’s of past — will people get segregated once again due to the ebb and flow of beliefs.

As we each grow apart due to our factions, thoughts, and religious beliefs. That’s typically when society is at it’s most vulnerable.

The more I hear loud and clear that people like me aren’t altogether, not proper, not well — I laugh. I watch a society tell me that I am not good at communication, as they manipulate, mistreat, and tell us we’re going to hell if we don’t buy their shit.

Beautiful isn’t it, to be so high on your righteous horse? When those who point fingers should really hold up mirrors — but with one quick prayer — all is forgiven. Irony is too small a word.

Together We Spark

I feel a shift, and my silent revolution is one that I know I’m not wordlessly singing alone. I have plans for this year, like a small ripple in the river. I’m fed up. I remove the straight jacket society would love to give us. Break up the concrete attached to my roots .

This year I will continue on growing, gaining my strength, expanding like the cosmos, dancing alone in my room. This year I continue living sober, working on me — and repeating tunes that light my fire.

I will keep exploring the dark depths that some refuse to look at within them.

I’m not sure what’s in store for me, but something’s calling — to ripple into a vast wave. I only hope the fire I fan here serve the higher good and not to perpetuate the flames of ignorance and disconnection.

I want to connect with as many as possible across the world, there’s work to do that I can’t do alone. Together we’re like a mighty oak that reaches great heights. But together we need to build that strength first.

It’s in the little nuances of saying “no,” it’s in the moment you don’t laugh at what you don’t find funny. It’s in the small moment you don’t do what someone asks of you. Or you say “sure, I’m the bad person.”

No more will I watch wonderful people suffer without doing my small part, without illuminating my candle flicker against the dark. Rewilding Britain, mental health charities, homeless help — I want to give as much to these as I can, and more.

I think I’m starting to see what purpose is, I’ve read it hundreds of times on blind eyes, but the fog has lifted and I accept.

Even if it takes a thousand, million, thousands of millions of times to fail. I’ve become close friends to failure, she’s not scary at this point. She’s taken me places I would have never seen. And 2025 is it — I will see that failure transform and bear fruit that I won’t hold greedily in my clasps.

No, I’m not afraid to fail. What scares me is a river being filled with crap from some idiot corporation. I’m afraid of people turning against each other rather than loving themselves first, then one another unconditionally.

What I’m afraid of is nature dwindling, food becoming scarce due to misusing the land, and humans who’re hurt leaving this world before they’re able to shine their light on it. But fear isn’t helpful either, time to act.

So I bide my time, each step I move forward, each lift of a weight I gain my strength for what needs doing. I’ve travelled to the depths of despair, made many mistakes in my life — not always acted in ways I’m proud of. Said things I wish I’d kept to myself. But overall, I do my best for others and the world at large.

Now I repeat tunes, repeat actions, repeat words — towards the good. Each fiber of my muscle interweaving, neural pathways opening, and finally fucking healing shit.

I’ve waded through the mud of the mind, pushed past the pain of the body, and exhausted unhelpful words…

✨ In order to arrive — In order to spark ✨